Moving on for Angel's Flare

Since it's the last day of the year, I would be closing this blog for another blog. Wala lang, para maiba naman. I hope in my next blog, there would be less heartaches. At sana dumating na ang hinihintay ko. LoL. Here's my next blog:

The Hunger Games Trilogy: sad, dark and tragic, but still...

I love it so much.

 

But before I say anything else, there are SPOILERS ahead, so If you haven't read the trilogy yet and don't want to know what happened, then don't read...

Okay... I readily fell in love with the first book despite the dark theme. It was well written and the characters and the storyline were very promising. Even from the start, it felt like it would be leaving a great impression to the reader. And it actually did to me.

I was very engrossed with the story up to the point that I hated the Capitol and President Coin so much. And then when I learned that Katniss and Peeta would participate again in the Hunger Games for the Quarter Quell, I almost threw the book at the wall, not because of hatred but of frustration. I was very frustrated because I found it very unfair and inhumane. Haha, see I was very in to it.

 Actually, the epilogue cheered me up despite the very sad ending of the book. It was filled with hope and was very heartwarming, which made me cry more. I'm saying it's sad because of the too many deaths that happened. I know they were in a war and that deaths happen in wars. But it was too much for me.

The first death that really shocked me was Cinna. I don't know but, I really, really like him. He was one of the first persons that believed in Katniss. That's why I was very disappointed when he died. I was actually hoping that he wasn't killed until they confirmed that he was killed.

Another was Finnick. Actually, when Katniss's companions were dying one after the other, while they were being chased by mutts I was like hoping that Finnick would survive since he's like one of the main characters in the story and that he should see their victory  at the end. But no... Finnick! Oh, for heaven's sake. Why should Finnick die? Poor Annie. The only redeeming part was that he was able to leave Annie a son.

And then there was Prim! Every single thing happened because of Prim. Because Katniss volunteered for Prim's place. But then, it was decided that Prim would die and in a horrible way. Poor Prim. Poor Katniss and her mother. Prim did not die in the games. But she died in the war while trying to save those poor children.

The problem here is that, the book will make you love those characters. And then when you love them too much already, they die. Actually, I was a bit prepared already with the deaths since the first book, because it says that the Hunger Games would only end until only one survives. I was saddened with Rue's death and I was like crying so much, but she has to die. At least it wasn't Katniss or Peeta who killed her. But I wasn't prepared for the likes of Finnick, Cinna and Prim to die. When they died, it felt like I don't care anymore who else will die next. Maybe Katniss and Peeta would also die. Anyway, too much tragedy...

What I need is the dandelion in the spring. 

The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. 

The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. 

That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

 Okay, about the love story part... At first I was in Team Gale. And then at the middle, I was converted into Team Peeta. It's just that Peeta is more honest than Gale. Gale only started to move when he had already lost Katniss and he did not actually pursued her much. I hated Katniss for the first parts because she wouldn't admit about her feelings. But I pity her when Peeta was like brain-washed. Anyway, I don't know why, but I like those kind of love stories. Those stories wherein one would forget about his/her love and then the partner will do everything to make his/her lover remember him/her again. And then even though the one who forgot couldn't remember anything about their  love, deep inside, there's a part of him/her that could still vaguely remember. It just shows that their love was so great and true. And I so love those kind of stories.

So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

Sabi ko na, bawal ako mag-straight

Grabe, na-sampolan ako dahil medyo kababalik ko lang galing VL. Stat CS, TAHBSO at Pelvic Lap. Sa partner ko yung CS akin yung PL pati TAHBSO dapat. Kaya lang grabe yung nangyari sa PL. Nag-code kami, nag CPR, nag-bigay ng 10 Epi, BT, Gelofusine, CVP... Grabe, 2nd time ko na yun makakita pero tulala pa rin ako. Siguro kasi hindi ko alam kung anong role ba dapat ang i-assume ko. Nung una, pag-akyat nya, super ok pa sya. Hindi pa ganun ka-toxic ang itsura nya aside from mababang BP. At dahil 10 years pa ang blood, nag-tiis sa Gelofusine. Nag-unstable kaya nag-intubate. Hanggang sa nag-patawag na nga Medicine. Pero syempre tuloy pa rin ang operasyon. Evacuate ng clots, suction ng dugo. Hanggang  sa tuluyan nang bumagsak ang BP. Ayun, hindi na namin nahabol and blood kahit na pinu-push na. Hypovolemic shock and nangyari. Sabi nila siguro may heart problem din ang  patient kasi hindi kinaya ang pag-brady at pagbagsak ng BP kaya baka daw Cardiogenic na rin.

Grabe ang mga papel. Kalat-kalat sa station. Hindi ko alam kung pano uumpisahan. Buti na lang may 2 tumulong sakin. Natapos ko rin kasi straight ako. Kaya ayaw ko talaga ng straight. Ang toxic kasi. Sa una kahit toxic, may partner ka naman. Tapos pag dating ng gabi, salo mo pa rin lahat tapos mag-isa ka na. Pag-pray mo na lang na sana maayos ang mga kasama mo para medyo matulungan ka kahit paano.

Nawala Lahat

Sakit lang ng ulo ang natira sa kin after ng exam ko. Grabe as in naaasar na ako kanina. Kakaiba yung mga tanong. Hindi ko lam kung san galing lahat yun. Parang nasayang lang lahat ng naaral ko... kung meron man. Hahaha... As in nung lumampas na ng 100 ayaw ko na. Bahala na.  Hindi ko na kaya. Ang sakit na ng ulo ko.

Tapos after syempre dapat masaya na ko. Kaso feeling ko parang na-drain lahat ng energy ko. Diba ang plano ko JGS kaagad ang aatupagin ko. Kaso bigla akong tinamad. Imbis na tapusin ko ang MSOAN, nanood ako ng anime. Hahaha... At naka-dalawa pa ako. At nag-basa ng Hunger Games. Ang cute pa rin nya kaya lang parang naubos and enthusiasm ko.

Waiting patiently...

Ilang oras na lang at matatapos na. I'm not sure kung anong magiging result pero I'm trying to stay positrive. Sana kayanin ko. Ang dami-dami nang nakapila sa mga gagawin ko. Kating-kati na akong manood ng mga korean drama at bagong anime; keep-up with new manga chapters with the series that I'm reading; read new books like The Hunger Games series at Clockwork Angel; Mag-full time Jang Geun Suk fan-girl mode...

Haha kala mo ang dami kong oras para gawin lahat yan. Pero kaya ko pag-sabay-sabayin lahat yan.

Konting oras na lang ang aantayin ko. Sana po maging maayos. At sana po maganda ang result. Thanks po!

I thought I'd forget you, But I guess I forgot to.

In short, umasa nanaman ang baliw. Pano, we were together last Christmas Party. Picture, party, kain, inom, kwento. Kahit na alam kong wala na akong pag-asa, parang kahit pano meron pa ring gustong umasa. Nakakaasar kasi may mga pictures kami together. Tapos may nag-sasabi na bagay daw kami. Tapos yung mga asaran at laitan namin, swak pa rin. Grabe na-miss ko sya. Kaya lang ano namang mapapala ko kung pbaalik-balik? Nakakaasar talaga. Gusto ko na kasi talagang kalimutan. Pero pag andyan na, wala na... Back to zero ulet. Haaayyyysssttt...

Anyway, enjoy naman ang party pati after party. Yun nga lang hindi na ako sumama sa isa pang after party kasi pupunta pa akong Makati kinabukasan tapos duty sa afternoon. 

Feeling ko hindi na to mawawala. Mukang aasa na lang ako palagi.

I want to escape reality and be with JGS

Yes, JGS as in Jang Geun Suk! I'm feeling quite anxious right now because of what happened with my vacation request and my exam on the 15th. Today is our Christmas Party but I'm feeling anxious because I would be returning to work tomorrow afternoon. I was very excited about it before but because of what happened with my schedule, I'm no longer happy about it. And the only thing that could make me happy right now is Jang Geun Suk! 

Waah, I'm on fan-girl mode again. Why is he so gorgeous? I soooo love his character Kang Moo Kyul in Mary Stayed  Out All Night. I also love what is happening in the drama. Lam mo nah, yun yung mga type ko. Selosan kasi ayaw umamin. Pero ngayon umamin na kaya ayun super kilig. Grabe ang gwapo talaga ni Jang Geun Suk. Kaasar. Bakit ba ang gwapo nya? Yan tuloy adik na naman ako. 

Huhu, matapos lang ang talaga ang 15 sasaya na ulit ako. Wait for me JGS ok? Full time fan girl ulit ako after ng exam ko sa 15. Leche. Bakit ba ang daming balakid? Sige bright side na lang. At least afternoon ako. Tapos siguro sabi ni Lord, tutal naman kung anu-ano lang inaaatupag ko, mag-trabaho na lang daw ako. Baka may matutunan pa ako. Hindi rin naman kasi ako makaaral ng super tuluy-tuloy kasi nasa harap ako ng computer. Ang daming distractions. Dapat nga di pa muna ako manood ng MSOAN kaya lang di ko matiis ang cuteness ni JGS. Grabe escaping reality talaga ako. Waaaah... Matapos ka na 15 please?

 Anak ng... Nalintikan na. Sooooo freaking adorable... ♥♥♥

I am soooo ♥-broken

Paano? Eh kasi naman, meron akong nalaman. Hindi sa hindi nya ko gusto. Hindi rin dahil may girlfriend na sya or may nililigawan syang iba. Mas malala pa. Sa umpisa pa lang pala, wala na akong pag-asa. Walang kwenta pala ang pagiging feelingera ko... Sayang lang ang pag-iisip ko. Naisip ko na yun dati pero I dismissed the idea. May mga nag-hihinala pero hindi ko pinansin. Pero ngayon, hindi pwedeng hindi ko na pansinin. Kasi parang totoo na nga yata. Yup hindi pa naman talaga ako sure pero konti na lang parang yun na nga yun. Baka nga he's a bi. Yup, bisexual. I refuse to use the word gay kasi I don't think he is gay/bading/bakla. Bi lang. Yung katulad ng karamihang yaoi sa anime. Super lalaki kumilos pati itsura pero ang gusto eh lalaki din pala. And I love those kind of yaoi. Anyway, dati iniisip ko metrosexual lang. Minsan yun pa rin ang gusto kong isipin. Pero baka hindi ko matapos and DABDA pag pinag-pilitan kong super vain lang talaga sya at mahilig pumorma.

Haaysst. eto na ang kwento ko. Meron akong isa pang friend. At yun ang karibal ko... este yung isa pang mukang bi din. Close kami noon, actually hanggang ngayon. Super mahilig syang mag-tweet ng about sa love nya na mukang one-sided. Hindi ko naman tinatanong kung sino. Syempre friend ko kaya hindi ko pina-iisipan ng masama. Tae makapag-lagay nga ng codename. Yung friend na tinutukoy ko nung una ay si Touya. Tapos yung isa si Yukito. Tapos may isang hahabol si Kero. Hahaha... Si Kero yung bestfriend ko sa unit. Eh di ganto... Dati ko na ring pinag-hihinalaan sila Yukito at Touya. Pero friend ko kaya deadma lang. Tapos lately nga dahil sa mga post ni Yukito, nagcomment sa kin si Kero. Gusto nya daw itanong kay Yukito kung si Touya ba daw ang tinutukoy nya. Ako naman I defended them both. Sabi ko pano mo naman naisip na sila? Halata naman daw. Kasi nung birthday daw ni Yukito, may gift si Touya at mukang kumain pa daw sila sa labas. Patay. Yun na. Napapaisip na ko. Tapos nung trainee days pa daw namin, nakikita nya daw na nagttext si Yukito ng sorry kay Touya. Kasi madalas silang mag-kasagutan noon. Front lang pala nila yun.Tapos si Touya meron pang isang friend si Nakuru na pinag-hihinalaan din sila. Tropa kasi sila. Tapos feeling nga daw nya may something between Touya and Yukito. Hahaha...

Pag naiisip ko yan tska yung mga previous posts ko, natatawa ako. May pa feelinge-feelingera pa akong nalalaman, ka-landian, pain or chuva, tska yung one-person-one-post-churva, tapos wala naman pala talaga akong pag-asa. Haha... Loser...

Kaasar. Sa kabila ng lahat eh parang kahit paano eh umaasa pa rin ako. Pero pilit ko na ngang kinakalimutan bago pa ko tuluyang mabaliw pag na-confirm ko na ang lahat. Hay nako. Bakit ba lapitin ako sa mga ganyang kaibigan? Eto pa, lahat ng mga pangalan nila eh nag-sisimula sa iisang letra. Hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano. Malas ata ako sa letrang yun... Tawa na lang ako.

Can't Wait for July 2011 for the 2nd part of Deathly Hallows!

Yep. I can't really wait for the second part!!! I practically grew up with the books and the movies and I am so looking forward for the the last part. The first part was awesome even though it was very condensed. I am very excited with the second part because it would be mostly where the important events happened. I bet it would be too emotional for me to handle again like what happened after I finished the last book. Actually, I was already emotional while the first part was just starting. I could feel Hermione's loneliness when she erased her existence. And I found myself already crying! And then when Dobbie died, I super cried again. So I think I'll have to watch the last part alone so I can just cry quietly by myself while watching. LoL.

I'm browsing the net and I saw some characters from the epilogue! The middle-aged Harry and Ginny, their children - James, Al and Lily, Ron and Hermione and their children - Rose and Hugo, and also Malfoy and his son Scorpius. Aw, their children are so adorable especially the Potters... 

My favorite parts on the book were the Prince's Tale and the epilogue chapter, so I would be really looking forward for those parts. I really love the part wherein Snape's story was being told. That's why I so love the appearance of the Doe patronus because it felt like it summarizes all. By knowing what the patronus means, you're going to understand why Snape did everything. And the part when he asked Harry to look at him before he died was super sad. He wanted to see Lily's eyes for the last time. Aw, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. What more while I'm seeing it in action?

Actually I'm supposed to go to the mall with my two unit best friends but I couldn't just let Harry Potter pass by. I've been planning this for days and I really need to watch it. Anyway, watching alone isn't bad at all.

I love Harry Potter!!!

My body clock is freakingly messed up!!!

Because of my night duties, I could not sleep well at night. At ngayong PM shift na ko, grabe madaling araw na ako makatulog. Buti sana kung mga 2-3 AM. Kaso past 5 AM! Anong klaseng adjustment naman yan? Dati naman hindi ganto. Huhu... Ok lang naman kasi 10AM pa naman ako gigising. Kaya lang syempre gusto ko na ring matulog agad. Kasi pag super madaling araw na ko nakakatulog tapos hindi pa maganda, sasakit ulo ko sa hapon tapos super aantukin ako. Ilang araw na ganun pa rin. Hindi rin gumagana yung mga ritual kong  pampatulog. Parang overrated na daw kaya ayaw na. Ang nangyayari tuloy, kung anu-ano ginagawa ko - nag-aayos ng mga gamit, nag-susukat ng damit... Sobrang hindi na nga ako nag-iisip ng kung anu-ano. Huhuhu...

Yaan mo na nga. Maaayos din toh. Wala akong isnomnia...

To love is to destroy, to be loved is to be the one destroyed

Three books down for the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare. I was able to finish City of Bones, Ashes and Glass in a week, but I could have done it in days if only I'm on vacation. Anyway, buying the set was worth it. I love the series even though it reminded me somehow of Harry Potter only more mature in content, the series screams of the author-is-an-otaku of some sort and that there was a twist that I was actually expecting to happen - the only question is how. 

Why Harry Potter? It felt like HP to me, only instead of wizards, there were Shadowhunters; Mundanes instead of muggles; Valentine instead of Voldemort. Isn't Voldemort once a great wizard who had his own opinions for their world so he assembled a group of his own and tried to change and rule the wizarding world? Well, Valentine is not really that different. He was a great Shadowhunter who also had his own opinions and plans and therefore made his own group and tried to rule and change Idris.

I'm not saying being an otaku is bad, and that the author being an otaku is a bad thing. I'm actually also an otaku once and maybe until now, sometimes. It's just one of the things that I noticed in  the series which I think somehow influenced the author in writing it. And for the nth time, I'm saying that it was not a bad thing. The moment I was able to realize that Magnus likes Alec, the word yaoi suddenly popped in my head. And then I wasn't planning to react with the incestuous love between Jace and Clary, but after citing Angel Sanctuary (the one that Sebastian was reading which was actually Max's), my eyes narrowed.  

Angels in love; sibling angels in love; the incestuous relationship of Setsuna and Sara... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Anyway, no more comment about that. I somehow adore forbidden love. ~wink

And then there's the twist that I've been waiting ever since I realized that Jace is Clary's brother. It just felt wrong - them being brother and sister. I thought it would be cruel for the author to make the reader fall in love with Jace and Clary and then disappoint everyone in the end because they were not really meant for each other. I just couldn't imagine Jace falling in love with someone else so he would be able to move on. Or  maybe Jace dying in the end so Clary won't have any choice but to move on - sorry for the wild imagination. That's why I've been waiting for the twist. I was actually expecting that in the end, it would turn out that they're not really brother and sister. The only question is how.

And then after I learned about Stephen and Celine Herondale, after I learnd that Celine was 8 months pregnant when she died, somehow it crossed my mind that the baby might not have died. That there is a possibility that the baby was saved by someone. Then when Imogen died, and she whispered something to Jace, it gave me an idea that Imogen realized something about Jace's scar and his true identity. That was when it dawned to me that Jace could be the Herondale baby. And so, the only thing that I've been waiting is for Valentine to confirm it and how he did it. And I was  right!!! Yey, Jace and Clary forever!

After writing those things, it seemed like the series is too predictable. But overall, I still like it. I actually hope that there would be a movie. I hope it would be as dark and as gory as the  book portrays. And that Jace would really be hot. LoL. I would be looking forward for the action and special effects. ^^

As for the ending, it was just sad that Max died. I hope he did not. He's too young. Anyway, I really did not enjoy the ending that much because I thought that the series is not done yet. I mean, Clare meant the series to end with City of Glass. But I did  not know about that until now so I was expecting for a cliffhanger at the end while reading CoG because of CoFA. I never read about what CoFA would be about so I was expecting that their problems are not yet over. That Valentine would still be alive in the end despite the angel killing him and I have a very great feeling that Sebastian is also alive somewhere and is already making his own army of sorts. Anyway that's my own stupidity. 

Looking forward for  the next 3 books and also for Infernal Devices...

Starting to UNLIKE them...

Mr. and Mrs. A. Sa lahat ng ka-partners, sila yung ayaw ko. Ok naman talaga silang ka-partner - tumutulong naman pag may case kaso lang pag tapos na ang duty or hindi pa nagsstart, bahala ka na. Kaya mo na yan. I believe   I was already able to blog about Mr. A, yung sa Ako na Mareklamo. Pero kay Mrs. A hindi pa. Ngayun pa lang. Kasi nagtitimpi lang ako dahil kung sa tulong, tulong naman. Kaso lang, this morning, naasar ako. At pangalawa na yan.

Kay Mrs. A muna tayo. Yung first time na naasar ako eh nung partner kami ng PM. May service delivery kasi. Syempre junior, kaya ako nag-handle. Ang tagal at natapos sya eh past 10 na. Ang nakakaasar pa eh super late ang NIC kaya hindi nakapag-endorse agad. Kaya ayun, imbis na iendorse ko sa partner kong straight eh  ako pa ang nag-hatid at 11pm na! Sana man lang eh konting konsiderasyon. Oo nga straight sya. Pero ako naman, off duty na at 11pm na. Sobrang lampas na ng 10. Super gusto ko na rin umuwi. Akala ko maiisip nya sya na lang mag-hahatid kasi tutal naman eh straight sya at isa lang ang LR. Dinadaan talaga sa seniority. Grabe na nga ako mag-tanong at mag-parinig - ok lang ba mag-hatid ng naka-blue; nakakaasar si Sir NIC kasi naman 11pm na; tapos super tinawag ko sya ng sunod-sunod para makuha na yung baby. Siguro na feel nya na nairita na rin ako pero deadma lang sya. Nakakaasar...grrr. 

Yun yung first kay Mrs. A. Pangalawa eh yun ngang kaninang umaga, about na to pareho kay Mr. and Mrs. A. 6:30 na ako nakapag-endorse. May 6:45 akong due na ANST. Syempre inabutan ako habang nag-eendorse kay Mr. and Mrs. A. Sabi ko, ipapa-read ko na lang po. Pina-read ko. Negative. Tapos ba naman, ako pa nag-bigay! Ok lang naman kasi sa kin nag-due at ako nag-pa read. Kaya lang inexpect ko na sana eh may nag-kusa na sila na lang ang mag-bigay kasi almost 7am na nanaman. At hindi ko naman kasalanan na late ang endorsement. Grabe, nakita nilang nagdi-dilute ako hindi man lang nag-offer na sila na mag-bigay. Nakaasar talaga. Kasi kung ako yun, ako na mag-bibigay at magpapa-read. Tutal andun lang naman yung residente  buti kung maghahanap pa. Grabe talaga. Tapos sinusundan lang ako ni Mr. A. May tinanong nga sya tapos tinalikuran ko lang at sinagot ko ng pataray. Kaso manhid ata. Buti sana kung toxic sila. Eh yun lang naman. 

Masyado lang ba talaga akong mareklamo at expectant at tamad? Hindi naman katamaran yun diba? Hindi naman ako tinatamad. Gusto ko lang makauwi ng maaga. Iba kasi talaga pag night ka. Ok lang naman kung AM or PM. Pero pag night ka kasi, antok ka na at super gusto mo ng umuwi buti sana kung natulog lang ako mag-damag. Naman, 7am na kaya. Wala naman silang ginagawa. Bwiset. Alam kong maliit lang naman na bagay yun. Kaso iba talaga. Siguro asar lang talaga ako sa kanila.

Naalala ko tuloy nung isang beses. After ng endorsement, may tumawag na fully. Syempre kahit pano,  tinulungan ko pa rin yung mga incoming kumuha ng gamit at mag-open. Pero ang ginawa nila, pinaaalis na nila ako. Umuwi na daw ako. Kaya na daw nila yun. Siguro kung sila Mr. and Mrs. A yun, patatapusin pa nila akong mag-open.

Bahala na nga sila. Mahirap naman kasi mang-away at mag-taray. Parang lahat kakalabanin mo kahit ikaw yung na-agrabyado. Wala naman akong magagawa kasy Mrs. A kasi senior yun. Kaya looking forward na lang akong maka-partner si Mr. A. Tingnan talaga natin. 

Kelangan may mag-wala muna bago tumulong

Super nakaka-windang. First night for the shift at kamusta naman? 10PM pa lang may stat curettage na. Tapos maya-maya fully. Tapos may dadalin daw na buntis. May stat AP sa kabila na katatapos  lang at may stat IJ na ongoing. At yung isa naman, tulog! Kaya  di na ako umasa pa ng tulong. So bali tatlo ang patient ko. Syempre inuna ko yung fully kasi lalabas na ang bata anytime. Buti nag-pa SAB sila kaya di ko na inintindi ang pagse-sedate. Yun nga lang pinroblema ko ang pag-papapirma. MR daw kasi ang patient so hinanap at inantay ko pa ang nanay para makapag-induct na. Sabay dating naman ng anes at consultant ng curettage. Nainis ang anes kasi nga bakit daw mag-isa lang ako. Asan na yung iba. 

Open dito, open doon. Takbo dito, takbo doon. Ay, oo nga pala. Before pa nun, yung natutulog na staff eh nakita na akong natotoxic. Tinanong kung toxic ba daw ako. Ano ba daw meron. Sabi  ko curettage at fully. Deadma. Tuloy lang sa pagla-lakad-lakad. Hanggang sa nag-baby out at mag-iinduct na sa kabila. Syempre unahin ko yung bata. Nainis ang anes sa kabila kasi walang nag-aasikaso. Sariling sikap daw at nawawala pa ang Cutasept spray. Hanggang sa napikon na at nag-simula nang mag-taas ng boses. Nasaan na ba daw ang mga ka-duty ko. Bakit mag-isa lang ako. Pati ang mga residente nakigatong. Hindi na nakatiis sila na  nag-hanap sa mga seniors ko. Yung isa nag-hatid sa MICU kaya wala talaga. Yung isa kakatapos lang ng case at inaasikaso pa ang patient kaya hindi makatulong. At yung isang patay-malisya ang nakita nila. Kug hindi pa nag-wala ang anes, hindi niya ako pupuntahan para tulungan. Medyo sinalo naman nung isa yung curettage ko kasi wala talaga akong papers. Inasikaso ko pa kasi yung fully dahil nga late na naakyat ang admitting papers. After parehas, nag-table naman ang isa. Carry na kasi yun na lang patient ko. Kaya nga lang di ko pa naeendorse yung naunang 2 at hindi pa tapos ang papers ko. Grabe as in kakapasok ko pa lang, toxic na kaagad. Buti na lang after nung 3 yun, wala na. Ang nakakaasar lang eh ako pa sinisisi nung isa. Toxic daw ako. Gusto ko sabihing nakita mo nang toxic, patay-malisya ka pa din. Kung wala pang nag-wala hindi ka tutulong. Ang totoo, ang hirap sa mga sobrang senior, akala mo porke junior ka, bawal kang tulungan. Bahala kang matoxic dyan. Kayanin mo. Dumaan din kami dyan. Ang totoo, mga tinatamad lang. Mas gusto pang mag-scrub sa long case kesa mag-circulate sa mabilis lang matapos na case kahit na sya ang NIC. Kamusta naman? Ano ba yan, tumatakas ka sa katoxican? Eh diba NIC ka nga. Tapos kasalanan mo pa pag toxic ka. Hindi na nga sila hinihingan ng tulong hangga't kaya. Pinapabayaan na nga sila matulog dyan tapos ang dami pang reklamo. Adik lang.

Ako na MAREKLAMO

Hindi ko alam kung mareklamo lang talaga ako or kahit papano eh may karapatan naman akong mag-reklamo. Naman kasi teh, off night na ko ngayon. Night duty na ko mamaya. Tapos kagabi almost 12AM na ko nakaalis ng unit. Buzzer beater kasi kami ng partner ko. Double table pa. Grabe as in tinulungan ko sya sa pag prep, at papers. At nauna silang matapos. Kaso nung endorsement na, biglang nag-stat CS ang isa. So yung pang night, yun na yung inuna. Nag-baby out na rin naman ako tapos yung partner ko nag-eendorse na sa RR. Nung una naasar ako kasi nga hindi na ko marereceive. Pero inintindi ko na lang. Kung ako rin naman kasi yung night iisipin ko na sana maintindihan nung outgoing na toxic ako dahil may stat. Tinapos ko na rin yung case. Ako na nag-endorse pati after care ng room at gamit. Wala naman akong reklamo dun sa ka-endorse ko. Ang reklamo ko ay dun sa partner ko. After nya mag-endorse at magligpit ng room at gamit nya, nawala na. Hindi man lang ako tinulungan kahit soli man lang ng gamit. Oo na, duty pa sya ng 6AM kaso naman hindi na naman sya uuwi. Sabi nya dun na sya matutulog. Eh yun naman pala, saglit na lang naman. Tulong na rin sa ka-partner. Sya hindi na uuwi, ako uuwi pa. At buti sana kung natulog na sya. Eh hindi, nakikipag-landian pa dun sa mga pauwi na. Grabe talaga. Samantalang pag sya, tinutulungan ko magligpit ng gamit at mag-hugas. Ako pa nag-asikaso ng baby's papers nya. Tapos kahit ano man lang tulong wala. 

Actually, napikon talaga ako ng gabing yun. Una, yung NIC ng night late nanaman. Tapos yung NIC namin parang walang pakialam. Kaasar talaga. Nakakainit ng ulo. Sarap mag-dabog. 

Eto pa, kung bakit napikon pa ko sa partner ko. Tinanong ba naman sa kin kung na-endorse ko na ba daw yung isang nasa LR pa. Gusto ko sabihing, hindi mo ba nakitang nag-papaanak ako dito? Ikaw nga dyan unang natapos tapos sa kin mo tatanong. Grrr talaga... Aantayin ko talagang maging magka-partner ult kami. Titiisin ko talaga sya. Kaasar. Hindi naman sa tumutulong ako tapos expecting help in return. Ok lang naman sa kin hindi ako tulungan kaso lang kung mga ganong panahon na, syempre kahit pano nag-eexpect na rin ako ng tulong. Ka-batch ko pa naman sya. Asar.

Not all Trouble was Bad

Everything had come into focus: his smooth  words, his black, 

glinting eyes, his broad experience  with lies, seduction, women. 

I'd fallen in love with  the devil.

Done with the second Hush, Hush book -  Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick. I was actually excited to read this because  it felt like a lot of secrets would be revealed in this book regarding  Nora's father and his friend and more of Patch. And then maybe some revenge  for Chauncey and maybe for Dabria.  Although some of them were present in the book,  I still wasn't really that happy with the second book. As much as I so love the first book, Crescendo somehow bored me. It was like I was dying for something else to happen but all I was able to find was Nora and Patch fighting... Nora getting jealous... and Nora trying to shake off Patch out of her life. For heaven's sake, can't she just trust Patch? Actually, I got annoyed at Patch for being with Marcy. But I found Nora more annoying with her trust issues. Patch even tried to go inside her dreams and explain but Nora did not even give him any credit for it. He is trying to make their relationship work despite the threats of the Archangels but Nora just wallowed in her own world of jealousy.

His smile was sexy and warned of trouble, 

but I'd made up my mind that 

not all trouble was bad.

I'm not saying I hate Crescendo. I still like it only not as much as the first book. I still find Patch and his relationship with Nora, hot. And since something happened at the end of the book, which I think is what I am really waiting for, I am expecting more action with the third. And I hope I won't get bored anymore. 

Why was it wrong for us to  be in love? 

Were angels and humans really that different?

Operation: "Sick Leave dahil sa LBM" (weh di nga?)

Ayan. Ang una kong sick leave. Haha. Kala ko kanina hindi pa dadating si Dr. A. Ang tagal kasi. Nakalagay sa pinto 1:00-5:00 kaso halos 3 na ng dumating. Buti na lang nag-antay ako sa may pintuan. Kasi dapat last pa ako, eh since nawawala pa nga yung iba, inuna na ako. Hahaha. Hindi na ko masyadong na guilty kasi wala naman daw nag-straight. Nung patapos na lang daw kasi ang pm shift nagka-toxican. Tapos nalaman ko na may nag 2/10. Absent pa rin kasi yung isang staff. Naisip ko tuloy, kaya pala ako natuloy sa Tagaytay ay para hindi ako  ma-straight at hindi matoxic sa DR. Haha. Ako kasi on-call kaya malamang ako ang straight dapat nun. Hindi ko naman masyadong naffeel na kasalanan ko kasi hindi ko nanaman talaga kasalanan yun... medyo lang. Kasi hindi naman ako yung parang ni-relievan nya. Hindi naman ako yung absent  ng night shift. Tapos nalaman ko na toxic nga daw sila. Tapos eto pa, may umakyat na fully at pumutok sa kanila ang BOW. As in napaliguan sila ng amniotic fluid ng buntis... buti sana kung tubig lang. May hepa daw ang patient. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung ano ba dapat ang maffeel ko. Gusto kong mag-thank you dahil hindi ako yun. Parang buti na lang sumama  ako sa Tagaytay. Gust ko syang sabihin kaya lang parang may mali. Anyway, thank you po kasi hindi ako yun. Kitams. Parang may mali talaga. Parang ang  bad ko. Yaan mo na. Hindi ko naman ginusto yung nangyari. Kahit na hindi ko kasalanan na straight sya, partially, parang may fault din ako. hehe... Anywayz... buti na lang talaga hindi ganun ka-strict yung Dr. At hindi na ko hinanapan ng abstract from ER. Tapos nakapag-pareseta pa ko ng vitamins. 

Pinag-sisisihan ko na rin naman ang pagsisinungaling ko. Ayaw kong sabihin na hindi ko na uulitin kasi baka kainin ko lang. Pero as much as possible ayaw ko nang maulit. 

At dahil dyan, wala akong book hanggang matapos ang buwan. Wala rin akong Korean drama until the end of the month for some reasons. At nagsisimula na akong mainip. Hahaha...

Haaysst. Gusto ko nang ma-upload yung pics. Kaya lang masyado pang maaga. Baka mabuko. Pero gusto ko na talaga. Kinikilig ako. Lolz...

Sick Leave para mag-paka-adik sa Pictures at Koi

Haha... Road trip to Tagaytay para kumain, mag-picture at mag-pakain ng sandamakmak na Koi. Enjoy naman kaso hindi ko super na-enjoy kasi nga "SL" kunwari yung akin. Syempre nung una iniisip ko kung pano ako tatawag para mag-inform sa unit at sa coor. At kung sino ang magsstraight duty ng dahil sa kin. 

Nag-dadalawang isip talaga akong sumama kasi nga "SL". Magsisinungaling ka na, may mapapastraight, tatawag ka pa, magpapa-check up ka pa... Kaya lang super kinukulit talaga ako ng isang tao at ang nakakaasar pa eh kinikilig ako. hahaha... Ang kulit kasi talaga - sa text pati fb. Hindi lang naman sya ang dahilan kung bakit gusto kong sumama. Una kasi amusement park dapat. Gusto kong pumunta dun kasi hindi ko na maalala kung kelan ako huling pumunta dun or kung nakapunta na nga ba ako dun. Hahaha... Tska kasama din kasi yung isang friend ko na super nammiss ko na rin. 

Ang ginawa ko, medyo humingi ako ng signs. Una, pag 6 lang ang staff sa hapon kasama ako, hindi na ko pupunta. Pero kung 7 or more, sasama ako. Tapos kung uulan sa umaga, hindi na rin ako sasama. Sayang lang ang road trip at pamamasyal kung uulan. Ang nangyari, 7 ang staff kasama ako at super umaraw ng morning kaya ayun, go na ang loka. Hahaha. Actually nung una naisip ko na baka mas mabuti pa na mag-straight na lang ako ng 2/10 para at least wala na kong pasok kinabukasan. Puyat nga lang ako pag -gala. At grabe, twice dumating ang opportunity. Absent kasi yung DR. At kung on call ako, straight na ko. Tapos sunod naman, yung NIC eh super late. Tinanong ako ng 2nd in-line kung gusto ko ba daw mag-straight para kasing mas gusto nya na medyo senior ang night kesa junior. Pero dumating din naman ang NIC. At ayun, dahil nga super araw kanina, go na  talaga ako. Na-late nga lang ako sa meeting place dahil traffic. hehe...

Tumawag ako sa unit habang nasa washroom ng Leslie's. Grabe planado ko talaga ang lahat. Nag-load ako ng 300 para may pangtawag ako. Before pa nun, yesterday, kinuha ko na lahat ng telephone numbers na kelangan ko - unit, hospital, operator. Tapos ayun, ok naman. Nakapag-paalam ako. Pero syempre medyo guilty pa rin kasi nga baka may mag-straight. Naglolokohan pa nga kami kung sino ang magsstraight. Pede kasing yung isang ka-batch namin na medyo kabarkada nila. 

Anyways, after kumain, Picnic Grove. Picture kung picture. Kung san pwedeng mag-pose, pose! Nag-punta nga lang ata kami dun para magkaron ng bagong profile pic. haha. Dapat ppunta pa kami ng EK kaya lang medyo napagod na kami kakalakad dun sa Eco Trail kaya nag-Nuvali na lang kami. Strabucks, tapos nag-feed ng Koi. Grabe ang daming Koi. Pag nag-laglag ka ng feeds, super nagkaka-gulo sila na nakakadiri ng tingnan. Pero enjoy silang panoorin. Ang sarap titigan lang. Tapos pictures pa ulit at mga failed na jump shots. Hahaha. Di kasi namin ma-timingan ang pag-talon. Naka timer kasi ang cam at 5 shots. 

Enjoy naman kaya nga lang ako hindi super kasi ilegal ako. Hehe... Sana may next time pa. At sana hindi na ko "sick leave". LoLz.

There was no end to them. They come and go...come and go.

Haha ang drama. Ang totoo teh, I was talking about pregnant moms who kept on coming and going in and out of the Labor Room yesterday until the end of my shift, which by the way, consisted of 16 tiring hours. Yep, I've been admitting and discharging laboring moms and those who have just delivered for the whole shift. Luckily, on my first 8 hours, I had a partner. We had 2 Cesarean section deliveries and 2 NSD's. What's worse is that those NSD's were both service patients! Luckily, again, someone helped us in sedating  the patients so me and my partner were able to focus on attending to the babies and finishing our papers. And seriously, as we discharge our patients, the phone would ring and the other person on the line would tell us that they would be sending a patient over. 

I was able to attend to another service delivery but then I still have 3 other laboring patients na nanganganib na ring mag-table. Buti na lang pay yung 2. Yung isa, service at akala ko sa kin pa manganganak kasi may bronchial asthma daw. About dun sa patient na may asthma, hindi ko alam kung pagod na nga lang ba talaga ako or napipikon na ako kaya medyo wala na akong pakialam. Ang lakas ng loob kong mag-insert ng IV. As in nag-insert ako without having second thoughts. Sabi ko, bahala na. As in nagulat ako kasi ang lakas talaga ng loob ko. Parang walang pakialam kung ma-in ko or hindi. Luckily, na-in ko! Madugo nga lang. LoL. Anyway, pina-back to room din yung patient kaya lang may table nga ako kaya hindi ako yung nag-hatid. Tapos syempre may 2 pang pay sa LR kaya hindi rin ako makapag-focus masyado dun sa NSD. 

Mangungulit ang residente, dadating ang anes, mag-oorder, at kung anu-ano pa. Mag-isa lang ako kasi may case sa kabila. Ok na rin at least na kaya ko ng walang tulong, except sa paghahatid. Eh kasi naman, hindi naman talaga ako makalabas. 

Grabe talaga. Eto pa, hindi rin ako masyadong matahimik kahit pay na yung 2 natira kasi ba naman G4 at G5 na 5 at 6cms. Nanganganib mag double table samantalang hindi pa ko nakaka-recover dun sa service ko. Buti na lang yung isa, malayo yung consultant kaya hindi pa nila pinapakealaman - wala pang sinto at xspas. Yung isa, medyo mabagal ang progress kaya inabot pa ng umaga. Kahit wala na akong napaanak, hindi pa rin nga ako matahimik kasi maya't-maya nagri-ring ang phone. Tapos ER pa. Ibig sabihin, may patient ang OB sa baba. 

Fortunately, as in luckily, mga 6:30 tapos na ang endorsement nung nag-decide mag-CS ang isa. Buti na lang talaga. Eh mga 4am andun na yung consultant. Buti medyo nag-hintay pa sila. Kung hindi, sakin pa bumagsak. Ok lang sana kaya lang ibig sabihin nun, yung NIC ang scrub ko kung pede nga yun, at ang maiiwan na lang na makakakilos eh yung RR na busy din sa kabila kaya wala na talagang tutulong sa kin pagn nagka-toxican. May habit pa naman sa DR na kapag toxic, nag-sasabay-sabay. Tulad na nga lang kanina. Nung nag-decide mag CS, nag-eendorse pa lang ako nun. Tapos nag-ring ang phone at nagsabi na may dadaling patient. Tapos nag-ring ulit at may dadalin pa daw ulit. Tapos nang-totoxic ang isang residente na maghanda na daw ng pang-epid dahil pag dating nga patient eh epid kaagad. Ang sarap sagutin kasi magcCS nga yung anes, syempre unahin nya yun. Adik talaga. 

Actually, madaling araw pa lang, naririnig ko na yung about dun sa 2 patient na yun. May admission nga daw si Dr. ganyan at ganon. Buti na lang hindi sa kin pumasok kasi nga mukang malapit ng manganak kasi nagmamadali na siland pa-epid. Mga adik talaga.

Haaaayyyst. Sakit ng paa ko. Hindi ako masyadong naka-upo. Balik-balik sa CSR, LR at DR. Buti mabait NIC namin. Sya nag-hatid ng mga back to room ko at nag-sundo ng mga cases sa AM. After everything, kinaya naman. Ok na rin. Nanghihinayang lang ako, kasi last night, nag-kayayaan uminom ang mga ka-batch ko. He invited me kaya nga lang straight ako. Gusto ko sana sumama. Hindi lang para uminom, para na rin maki-bonding. Haha... 

Anyways... Pero natuwa talaga ako nung nag-insert ako ng IV. Haha...

I'll show you how angels dance

I am sooo in love with Daniel and Luce right now.

"How many lives do you need to live

before you find someone

worth dying for?"

I am so much in love with the second Fallen novel - Torment by Lauren Kate. Unlike the  first book which took me some time to read, I could not stop flipping the pages of Torment. Even though there were a LOT of cheesy and mushy stuff happening when Daniel meets Luce, I was able to survive them all. LoL. Even though there were times when I am asking if they should really be hungry like that. Hahaha... Well maybe Daniel is like that because of his frustrations and longings for I'm not sure how many millenia have passed since when Luce turns 17, and they kiss,  she burns - literally until this lifetime.

"It must have been part of Daniel's punishment. 

That she was bound to him forever,

like a marionette to its puppeteer."

"Gazing at him, feeling his touch - 

the rest of the world faded into the background"

Anyway, about the story, I like it how the author provided a secret world for angels, like the Shoreline school where Nephilims or humans with angel bloodline study. Although it reminded me somehow of Hogwarts, I actually like it. I actually thought at first that it would be just like other tragic love stories with star-crossed lovers added with a fallen angel to spice up the story.  I thought angels here would be like very rare and so much kept underground.  But in the Fallen series, there is actually a community of angels, demons and half-angels.  And aside from just angels and demons, the author added more kinds of angels like Nephs and the Outcasts, and then there were also other beings or creatures like the Announcers and the starshot barterers. I like how the series did not only focused on the romance part but also on the fantasy part.

"Would love be different with someone else? 

Was love even possible with someone else?

Love was supposed to be easy, wasn't it?

Then why did she feel tormented?"

Although I am frustrated for a lot of questions. There is still soooo much to learn about the real story between Daniel and Luce. There are still a lot of things that has to be revealed like the issue with the Outcasts and why they can't allow them to go back. Why Luce would die with a starshot when she is actually human? Remember, Cam shot the Outcast whom he thought was Luce and said that it was better for her to die or something like that. Why the demons want Luce? Is Daniel really the angel who would tip the balance? Who cursed Luce and Daniel? Why Trevor self-combusted but Miles did not? And so on and so forth.

"Take off your shoes,

and I'll show you how angels dance."

I am dying to read Passion, the next novel, but I still have to wait for a year before it comes out! Poor me. I hope the next novel would be revealing more about Luce's past.

Waahhh... Can I have my own Daniel!?

Would he find her?

Without question.

Would he save her?

Always.

Kelangan ganun Managinip!?

I always dream of holding someone or hugging someone. Last night, I dreamed again of hugging someone. But it wasn't just "someone". Yup, it's him. In my dream, we saw each other and said hi then he went somewhere else to greet some of his friends. Then he went back to me and held out his arms for a hug. So I went up to him and hugged him. Waahhh it felt so true. We were hugging each other because we were missing each other so much. I really don't know why I dreamed about him again. Maybe because last night, he visited us in the unit, but I was busy attending to a delivery so I wasn't able to make kulit with him. He only called me and I hastily went to greet him. I really miss him. 

Hugging

To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate. - http://www.dreammoods.com/

The dream really felt real. I am soooo pathetic. Bawal bumalik okay? Para walang asahan. Hahaha... Pero miss ko na sya...

Kim Tak Goo!

King of Baking, Kim Tak Goo or Bread, Love and Dreams is a South Korean drama from KBS. I wasn't really planning to watch it at first because of the number of episodes (30) but I got curious with it so I decided to gave it a try. The first few episodes were actually interesting despite the usual family conflict of having affairs and illegitimate children and heir issues in dramas. I'm not really sure why I got hooked in it even though I got bored for some parts because I've been wanting to see the grown up Kim Tak Goo. Maybe it was the story, plot and the turning of events. Anyway, my patiently waiting paid off when I saw Yoon Shi Yoon! He is really cute even though he greatly reminds me of Lee Jun Ki.

Kim Tak Goo is the eldest son of Goo Il Jong, the chairman of Geosung Foods Enterprise, a legend in the baking industry. Although he is an extremely talented baker and seemed destined to succeed his father as president, Goo Il Jong's family plotted to rob him of his inheritance because he was born to Il Jong's mistress. Tak Goo's determination to become number one in the baking industry drives him to rebuild his career from scratch despite the many trials he faces. - wikipedia

I am so loving this series. Action, comedy, romance, drama -all in one. Great actors, lovable and hateful characters... I love Kim Tak Goo and his father and the grandmother, Yang Mi Sun, Teacher Pal Bong, In Mok, Jin Goo... I so hate Ma Jun and his mother and Manager Han. As for Yu Kyung, I  love her for pissing off the mother but I also hate her for making Tak Goo cry. I know she just wants revenge to the mother but she did not realized that Ma Jun was not just pissing off her mother but also is taking away important things from Tak Goo. 

I hate Ma Jun for doing cruel things to Tak Goo but I somehow understand him why he hates him so much. He'd been seeking for his father's love, attention and recognition all his life and just when he was about to finally receive it, Tak Goo came into the picture. I somehow feels sad for him but I still hate him. Even though the father is to be hated because it is actually his  fault why Ma Jun feels resentment, I could not really hate him because he loves Tak Goo more. Sorry for me being biased ~wink. I  just also love Tak Goo more. As for Ma Jun's mother, I don't feel sorry or any pity for her even though her husband was the one who had an affair first. She is evil along with the ungrateful Manager Han and they both deserve to be buried alive. Lolz...

I really, really love Tak Goo!!!

I'm crying for Phoenix and Darina

The ending of Beautiful Dead was really heartbreaking. I was just able to finish it a while ago and until now, I feel like crying for them. Actually, I was crying while reading the last chapter and the epilogue. I could not hold back my tears while Phoenix and Darina were walking until he let go of Darina's hand. After reading the book, it felt like it would take a while for me to feel happy again. I really, really feel sad for them. Their love seems so true but then they would not be able to spend their lives together anymore because of Phoenix's death. Waaahhh. I still feel sad.

The more you want something, the more certain you are to lose it. 

It doesn't stop you wanting it anyway.

Anyway, isn't it that I had a few comments about the series, like the everyone-wants-her issue and the time-travelling-thing? Well, I don't care about them anymore. My sadness for the two of  them was so overwhelming  that I have forgotten about those issues. Actually, they still time-traveled but as I've said, I don't care about  it anymore. Anyway, finding Phoenix's killer actually came hard and dangerous. 

I was just confused about something. Isn't it that in Summer, Darina and Hunter were able to pin down Ezra while they were back in time? But in Phoenix, Darina was able to put her hand on the living Phoenix's arm but he did not feel it. And also, he was able to walk right through her. Any tricks Hunter?

Speaking of Hunter, I knew it! Darina is related to  Marie. She was actually their great, great granddaughter. At first I thought she could be her reincarnation or something because they said that she somehow resembles her. But when I learned that Marie had a daughter, it also came to my mind that it would also be possible that she is a descendant or something. Hunter's second death was sad but I think he felt happy.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but without it, we can't move on.

Anyway, next issue - everyone-wants-her thing. Actually, that topic was not touched in the last book. My suspicion with Lucas and Brandon was not true. Lucas dated another girl and Brandon was just really taking care of her, out of guilt I guess. Actually the out-of-guilt part was just my idea. It wasn't really stated in the book but that was how I felt it. The finding of Phoenix's killer was also very heartbreaking. I knew it that Brandon knows something but I did not expect that he was the one. Anyway, it was an accident. I also feel sad for him because out of all of them, he is the one who is suffering the most.

Who needs a picture on show when you have memories 

like mine to bear you up and carry you through life?

I sooo love it despite the ending being super sad. Until now, when I reread the last chapter and the epilogue, I still cry. It was so sweet and sad especially the last lines...

 Any time, any place? I ask, gazing out across the glittering lake.

A breeze disturbs its silver surface. In a heartbeat, Phoenix promises.

Waahhhh... Super ♥ ♥ ♥. I want to cry again.