It’s like half of me wants to be with him

    and the other half wants to get over him. 

        I guess I’ll always have that something for him.

Last day that I could be with him. I know for myself that I'm over him. But when I see him... when I go near him, it's like something is telling me that I'm really not over him. Parang may sleeping remnants pa of my feelings for him within me, ready to wake up when he shows even the slightest affection for me. I really wanted to get close to him pero I'm trying nga to control myself and my feelings. Kasi when I'm near him, kung anu-ano naiisip ko. Naiisip ko, siguro ok tong maging boyfriend... sana kami na lang kahit patago... o kaya, kahit it's complicated... sana super-super close kami... those kind of stuff. Kaya nga I'm trying to make layo to him. Kaso namimiss ko naman. Huhu I would really, really miss him. Sana medyo mag stay connected pa rin kami kahit papano like one of  my close friends in another unit. Sana hindi nya ko makalimutan. Drama ng lola. Hahaha... My duty days would never be the same. Hala ang arte talaga. Kasi nga wala na akong kakulitan, kaasaran, kareklamuhan, kalaitan, kasabay kumain. Wala na akong maririning na nagyayabang at nagfifeeling. My feelings for him are one of the reasons why I finally decided to blog. Sana ma-continue ko pa rin  to kahit we're on different units na. I mean, sana hindi lang sya ang dahilan kung bakit umiikot ang mundo ko as Esha. Hahaha...

I saw some quotes the other day which I wanted to share. Kasi nga super naguguluhan ako. At medyo fitting sya for me.

When you’re in love  make sure you really are in love 
and not just in love with  the idea of being in love.

Minsan nga kasi diba I miss the feeling of kinikilig when I'm near him or when he helps me or when we're together. Kaya nga kahit I know na I'm over him, parang naiisip ko  minsan na meron pa rin para kiligin ako. Pero hindi naman sa napipilitan ako. Naiisip ko tuloy, baka naman gusto ko lang talaga ma-inlove? Sino ba naman kasi ang ayaw?

You have to ask yourself one important question – do you really love him or just the idea of him?

It feels like it would really be nice to be with him kasi. Hindi naman my super ideal boyfriend...  medyo lang. hahaha joke lang. Parang ano... ano ba... ok maging kami. Yung personality nya kasi parang it's not hard to fall for him. May itusra. Parang everybody likes him. Gets mo? Alam mo yung feeling na everybody wants him but he wants me. Parang ganun yung gusto ko mangyari. Parang ang sarap nung feeling at nung idea na out of everyone, he chose me. Haha... Super feelingera  at selfish... Hindi naman bawal managinip di ba? Hahaha.... baliw lang.